Frente al espejo // In front of the mirror

La ve sentada frente al espejo.  Como cada noche.  Él desde detrás la mira y peina suavemente, con la delicadeza de quien está habituado a ello.   Los cabellos largos siempre le han gustado y ambos lo saben. Sigue dejándoselos y ve la sonrisa en la boca y los ojos agradecidos. Cada día la peina por la noche. Le alisa el pelo, se lo cuida. Cada semana se lo lava un par de veces, un pelo negro, suave, un pelo que enamoró y sigue enamorando. Ella, quieta, se deja hacer. Como cada noche desde hace tantos años. El mismo ritual sin cambiar casi un ápice, sin palabras, solo con miradas que se entrecruzan aunque él sabe que no es así exactamente. Por eso la peina delante del espejo. En el mismo sitio que la cuida cuando la acicala. El suele sonreír también, sabe que ella  lo necesita, se lo dice con los ojos tiernos que guardan la luz especial del amor. Están juntos desde hace mucho y así seguirán.  Muchas veces cree él que en su mirada reflejada en el espejo hay un toque de tristeza, pero es efecto de la luz. Muchas veces él le contaría tantos sueños y tantas cosas….. pero sabe que ella no le contestará que solo vive en su mundo interior, si es que lo hay. El recuerda el tiempo feliz que duró poco y que marcó su vida.  No quiere recordar otros momentos, aunque muchas veces necesita evadirse y creer en la vida y sentir su frescor. Son momentos duros, pero se superan. Como pone en todos los libros de autoayuda, siempre se sale del pozo, aunque las palabras bonitas no sirvan cuando estás en él. Todo proceso debe interiorizarse y sublimarse si hace falta.

Recuerda el día en que el coche se saltó la valla y la embistió. Ese día en que él llevaba el anillo de boda y tenía que ir a verla. Cuando llegó solo estaba la policía, un conductor borracho y el gentío. La ambulancia ya había salido; en el hospital confirmaron que no habría solución si no se recuperaba a corto plazo. La operación no sirvió y posteriormente se detectó la esclerosis avanzada. No, no quiere recordar los malos momentos, solo los de la alegría. No hay fotos en la casa, si muchos cuadros y muchas figuras de bronce, su colección favorita de los viajes.

Amorosamente saca la silla de ruedas del cuarto de baño y la lleva a la ventana para que la brisa refresque su tez y alborote el pelo. El la mirará como siempre desde lejos. Sabe que tiene sueños y ataduras, pero cree en la vida a pesar de todo. Le pone una fina manta en el regazo, besa su mano y mira su sonrisa y sus ojos, ambos congelados desde el accidente. La acaricia y sigue su día.

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He sees her; in fact he looks at her. As every night. From behind he gently combs her hair, with the finesse of who is used to it. Her long hair bewitches him since the beginning and both know it. Keeping her mane he sees the smiling lips and the thankful eyes. Every evening takes place this hairdressing ceremony. He smooths the hair, grooms it and takes care of her. He washes it a couple of times every week, the dark, silky hair that still today he loves so much. She sits, quiet and lets him do. As every night since so many years. The same ritual without changing anything, not even the position. Without words, only with regards that interbreed one with the other even if he knows that it is not exactly so. This is the reason why he combs her in front of the mirror. In the same place where he takes care of her in her daily makeup. He also smiles always, knowing that she needs it. She tells it with her tender eyes that keep the special light of love.  They are together since such a long time and so they will follow. He often thinks that there is bit of sadness in her gaze reflected on the mirror, but it is only a light effect. So often he would tell her about his dreams and so many other things…. But he knows that she won’t answer, that she is living in her inner world if there is any. He remembers her lines when the worries didn't let him sleep and repeats every single word:

When the worries come to you

face them with a smile

as you have the power of time.

They press, and know

that by constant  thinking on them

they eat your brain and create pain.

When the worries come to you

be calm

take them one by one

do not let them grow

maintain them in a corner of your mind

and let them out

when you're ready for the fight.

As time softens

and serenity destroys them

take your best smile

prepare your thought

create your arguments

and see if it is right

to change your mind.

If it is not the case

continue to smile

and be glad, you won the battle

but be prepared to win the war.

In any case remember

that by constant thinking on them

they eat your brain and create pain.

The trick to win

is challenge them and not let

all come together.

And if all this still hurts you

take my hand

take my soul

to help you.

He remembers the short happy time that marked his life.  He doesn't want to remember other moments, but sometimes he needs to escape, smell the freshness and believe in life. Difficult moments, but can be overcome.  As all self help books explain: you get always out of the dark hole, even if the nice words are useless when you are in it. Sentiments have to be interiorized and sublimated if needed.

He remembers the day in which the car crossed violently the fence and lunged her. The same day he had the wedding ring in his pocket and was going to her. Only the police, a drunk driver and onlookers were there when he arrived. The ambulance had left already before. In the hospital he learned that there would be no solution if an imminent recovery wouldn't occur. Surgery did not result and later an advanced multiple sclerosis was detected. No, he doesn't want to remember the bad moments, only the moments of happiness. There are no pictures in the house, many paintings and many brass figures, his favorite collection from the trips.

Amorously pulls the wheelchair out of the bathroom and takes her to the window to let the breeze cool her skin and tousle her hair. He will look at her as usual from a distance to get the entire picture. He thinks about his dreams and bonds but despite all he still believes in life. He puts a thin blanket on her lap, kisses her hand and looks her smile and eyes. Both icily frozen since the accident. Caresses her and continues his day.